Forgiveness can be a challenging concept when you are thinking about someone else who has hurt you. It can be even harder when the person who has hurt you and you need to forgive is yourself. When you are preparing to enter a caregiver relationship with your aging parent, or you have been caring for them and feel there is a strain in your relationship, it may be time to evaluate yourself and determine if it is time to let go of things that have been holding you back.

Some signs you may need to forgive yourself to better care for your senior include:

• You constantly question the decisions you’ve made, and never feel you’ve done what’s right
• You feel guilty if you’re happy
• You constantly dwell on the past, and how it might have impacted your current life
• You worry about what you’ve done in the past, and if it makes you a bad person
• You never think you are doing enough for your parent
• You feel guilty any time you do something without your parent, or instead of being with your parent

Use these tips to help you forgive yourself:

• Admit the transgression to yourself. Just because you feel bad doesn’t mean you are being completely honest with yourself. Take some time to be fully upfront and straightforward with yourself about what happened, and why you feel guilty
• Evaluate if you really should feel guilty. Are you really hurting anyone? Is there a long-lasting consequence to what you did? Is there any benefit to holding onto this pain?
• Give yourself permission to not always be right, and to make mistakes
• Remind yourself that the longer you hold onto the hurts of the past, the more pain you will cause
• Commit yourself to being better for your aging parent, your children, your partner, and yourself

Making the decision to be a family caregiver doesn’t mean you have to take on all of the responsibilities and effort yourself. While you likely want to be at the center of your parent’s care, and manage all aspect of it to make sure that they are getting exactly what they need, this doesn’t mean you have to be the one to handle every care task yourself. Home care can help. Entrusting a senior home care services provider with managing some of your care tasks can be a valuable step toward easing your schedule and reducing your stress, while still ensuring your parent’s care is exactly what they need. These services are fully customized to ensure your parent has the care and support that is right for them, and can continue to enjoy a life that is active, engaged, and fulfilling throughout their later years.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/caregivers/expert-answers/caregiving-guilt/faq-20396864

If you are considering caregivers in Roanoke, VA for an aging loved one, please talk to the caring staff at Acti-Kare of Blue Ridge. Call 888-451-5273. Our office provides senior care and home care services in the following locations including Blue Ridge, Lynchburg, Salem, Roanoke, Smith Mountain Lake, and Bedford in Virginia.