Final details after losing a spouse

Losing a spouse is a life changing event and the last thing you will want to deal with is paperwork. Print out this list and attempt to do as many as you can or ask a family member or trusted friend to help you will the these matters.

Within the first month

? Consult a lawyer to be sure of your legal rights. Do not forget to discuss fees upfront.

? Notify creditors in writing that your spouse has died and check to see if any loans that you have taken out are insured.

? Request and obtain ample number of certified copies of death certificates.

? Find important papers such as bankbooks, deeds, account statements, investments and insurance policies.

? Collect important certificates such as your spouse’s birth certificate, Social Security card, military discharge papers, tax forms and birth certificates of any minor children.

? Set up new bank account in your name.

? Ask bank to release join bank account funds. In some states accounts may be frozen upon the death of the spouse.

? Contact Social Security to apply for benefits that you may be entitled to receive.

? Notify insurance companies (in writing). Send along a death certificate and statement of claim. Be sure to keep copies of all correspondence.

? Write letter to employer, union and any other professional organization they were in involved with to inquire about any insurance policies or 401 (k), pensions or company stock benefits.

? If your spouse is a veteran then contact your local Veteran’s Administration office to learn about what benefits that you may be entitled to receive.

Within six months

? See a tax lawyer or accountant to determine your full tax liability. Federal law requires that an estate tax return be filed within nine months of the death.

? Hire an attorney to help you through probate. This process can be very complex and take up to a year or more to complete.

Within one year

? Determine your annual income.

? Create a  yearly budget.

Coping with losing a loved one

Losing a loved one is always traumatic. It doesn’t matter if it is anticipated or unexpected. The transition from being part of a couple can be very difficult. While the person is attempting to deal with the trauma of losing their loved one, dozens of questions and decisions will need to be addressed and that can be overwhelming.

If family and friends cannot be there to help them through this period of time, it may be helpful to hire a home service to come in and help with daily chores and the appropriation of paperwork that will need to be gathered.

Important points to remember:

Mourning is an important part of the grieving process. The first days will be filled with activity and support from friends and family but the feelings may bubble up to the surface at any time. It is important to acknowledge those feelings in order to move on.

There will be a range of emotions such as shock, anger, pain and numbness. Emotions will not proceed in an orderly fashion and may overlap each other.

Overcoming grief is an ongoing process and there is no specific timetable; nor a beginning and an end.

Take action when action is warranted. There will be financial and legal issues that must be taken care of immediately to insure that the person left behind is taken care of.

Control stress by exercising, eating right and taking time to rest.

Say goodbye in your own time.

Tame your fears when you feel like you are losing control. The feeling of instability is only temporary and when you realize that it will be easier to get through each day.

Volunteer or renew old interests. Stay busy and productive.

Alzheimer’s and the Safe Return Program

MedicAlert and the Alzheimer’s Association developed the Safe Return program that is a nationwide. Persons in different stages of dementia wander. They may be looking for something or have a place that they want to visit then often get lost.

Tell the neighbors and local authorities so that they can be prepared if they see the person wandering or appearing to be lost. Keep a list of emergency numbers nearby that list contact information for neighbors and public safety office.

Medical alert jewelry, IDs, bracelets and necklaces provide personalized medical identification and 24 hour medical information.

Medical Alert jewelry alerts emergency responders to:

• Medical conditions
• Allergies
• Medications and dosages

Enrollment in the Safe Return program includes:

• Toll Free Emergency Response line: 1.800.625.3780
• 24 hour response team
• Individualized MedicAlert jewelry with engraved emergency response number
• Community support network of law enforcement and local Association chapters will be activated.

Medical jewelry could also be helpful for those who suffer from autism, diabetes and bipolar disorders as well as many other mental and physical challenges.

In the early stages of dementia and Alzheimer’s, it may be safe for the person to be at home with some assistance from a local in home care service. At some point in time this may not be possible and a nursing home will need to be considered.

More information:

Alzheimer’s Association http://www.alz.org

MedicAlert http://www.medicalert.org/

5 Tips for responding to the behaviors of individuals with Alzheimer’s

A person with Alzheimer’s disease may act in unpredictable ways. They often become anxious, agitated, confused and suspicious. They may suffer from sleeplessness, hallucinations and want to wander.  Understanding why the person is acting that way can reduce frustration and tension for the caregiver.

The following are tips about how to respond to 5 common behaviors:

• Aggressive behaviors include name calling, shouting, hitting or pushing. These behaviors can happen suddenly and without apparent reason.

Possible causes for aggression can be physical discomfort due to lack of sleep, medications or pain. Loud noises, physical clutter or they may feel that you are asking too many questions.

Ways to respond:

• Do not get upset or angry
• Limit distractions
• Attempt to identify the cause

Wandering is common for persons with dementia. They often wander and get lost repeatedly. It can be dangerous to the wanderer and stressful for the caregiver.

Ways to respond:

• Enroll the person in MedicAlert + Alzheimer’s Association Safe Return. This is a 24-hour nationwide emergency response service for those  who have dementia or Alzheimer’s.
• Inform your neighbors and local emergency responders. Keep a list of their contact information.
• Install deadbolt or slide-bolt locks.

Suspicion occurs when the person perceives things in a new or unusual way. When this happens they may accuse others of infidelity, theft or other improper behaviors.

Ways to respond:

• Do not try to argue or convince them that it is not true.
• Switch to another activity.
• Offer a simple answer.

Sleeplessness for both individuals with Alzheimer’s and caregivers is one reason that people with Alzheimer’s are placed in a nursing home. Anxiety, agitation, and disorientation begin at dusk and continue through the night. Experts refer to this as “sundowning.”

Ways to respond:

• Plan more active days.
• Seek medical advice.
• Change sleeping arrangements.

The person with Alzheimer’s may not recognize people, places or things. Confusion can be upsetting to both the caregiver and the individual that suffers from this disease.

Ways to respond:

• Stay calm and try not to make a big deal of it if they call you by a different name.
• Show photos and tell stories about them.
• Offer corrections but do not scold.

Agitation can be  caused by fear, misperceived threats, moving to a new residence or change in caregiver.

Ways to respond:

• Provide reassurance.
• Decrease noise and distractions.
• Take a walk or a ride in the car.

If you are the sole caregiver then it is important that you get a break and some support from friends and family. You can also contact the Alzheimer’s Association for support groups and other helpful information.

10 signs that your loved one may need assistance

There are often signs that warn of elders needing assistance with day to day activities. It is important to pay attention to these signs so that the family member or caregiver can make sure that the elder is safe in his or her home.

Most elderly persons want to stay in their home as long as they can. Often this is a possibility with just a little assistance from an in home care service.

Signs that the elder may need assistance

1. There is a change in the quality and frequency of communication. The person calls less.
2. Personnel hygiene seems not to be important
3. They don’t call you to visit as often or want to go out
4. Unexplained weight loss
5. They have a less active lifestyle
6. Blackened pots and pans
7. Unopened mail
8. Unkempt home and laundry or dishes piling up
9. Bruises or other signs of trauma from falls or difficulty navigating around the house
10. If you’re experiencing concern for their well-being, they probably need help.

Home care services that can be provided but are not limited to are the following:

Companionship

? Transportation to appointments, meetings, lectures, classes, bingo, worship servicesPlanning for outings & visits

? Morning wake-up calls & evening bedtimes

? Assistance with walking & mobility

? Mail letters, correspondence, & bill paying

? Crafts & hobbies

? Gardening

? Grocery list preparation & shopping

? Assistance with meal choice for particular dietary needs

Home Services

? Light housekeeping

? Laundry assistance & ironing

? Morning wake-up calls & evening bedtimes

? Changing linens & bedclothes

? Drop off & pick up dry cleaning

? Assist with shopping & errands

? Pet care

Personal Care

? Medication reminders

? Hygiene assistance

5 Tips to help you to remember to take your medication

In the fast paced world that we live in, remembering to take your medicine and when can be very difficult. In addition to remembering to pay bills on time, walking the dog, etc; taking your prescription is just one more thing to on a long list of things to memorize. Listed below are 5 tips to help ensure that you take your medicine each day.

• Utilizing a pillbox is one of the most effective things you can do to help remember taking your medication. You can fill the pillbox once a week with the appropriate dosages. You can purchase a pillbox at most drugstores for a small amount of money.
• Setting an alarm on a clock, cell phone or watch can also help to remember when to take your medication.  If you are using a cell phone, you can preset which medication to take and the dosage to display on the screen.  If you have a personal computer, try to set a reminder on your calendar.
• Creating a buddy system can also be helpful. If you know someone that also takes medicine on a daily basis, schedule to call each other everyday with a reminder.
• Ask your family members to get involved. Inform them of the medications you are taking and the dosages. They can help research the medications for you and remind you when to take them.
• Try to associate taking your medication with something that you do on a daily basis such as eating breakfast or brushing your teeth. This is a great strategy for remembering to take your medication at the same time each day.

Source:

Diabetes Monitor http://www.diabetesmonitor.com/b155.htm

How health insurance reform help early retirees

There has been great debate over what the facts are when it comes to health insurance reform and how it will affect us all; in particular those who are between the ages of 55-64 and choose to retire early.

Facts

• Greater Choices for early Retirees
• Lower Costs for Early Retirees
• Quality, Affordable Health Care for Early Retirees

Preventive Care for Better Health:

According to HealthReform.gov, over 70 percent of costs and deaths in the U.S. result from chronic diseases, many of which afflict early retirees.

The new reforms will ensure that all health plans cover basic preventive services and encourage innovations in health care to avoid disease and improve outcomes.

Support Early Retiree Health Coverage:

Health reform will provide financial assistance to employer health plans that cover early retirees, bringing down health costs and premiums by as much as $1,200 per family per year for some plans.

Stabilize coverage

The proportion of large firms providing workers with some type of retiree coverage dropped from 66 percent in 1988 to 31 percent in 2008. By providing financial relief to businesses that provide health coverage to early retirees, reform will make it easier for early retirees to obtain health care coverage.

More choices

Employer-based retiree coverage rarely offers a choice of plans. Early retires seeking coverage will have a choice of numerous private plans as well as a competitive public insurance option that will keep insurance companies honest.

Eliminate health status and preexisting condition rules

Early retirees are more likely to have chronic conditions such as heart disease and diabetes which insurers can use to deny coverage presently. Reform will prevent any insurance company from denying coverage based on a person’s medical history and it will end discrimination that charges you more if you’re sick.

Computerized records and less paperwork

Paperwork will be simplified with medical records becoming computerized. Records will have strong privacy protections.  Forms will be easier to read so that retirees and elders can compare health plans and work with their doctors to take charge of their health choices.

Higher quality of care

Priorities and standards on quality will be driven by reform. It will establish medically driven priorities and standards on quality, encourage quality reporting by hospitals, and provide incentive payments for high, quality performance.

To get the latest news and statistics concerning health insurance reform in your state go to: Healthreform.gov

Defeating isolation

There are many reasons for the elderly person to feel isolated. Isolation can occur because of the person’s geographical location or because of feeling detached from family and friends. Isolation can cause exaggerated reactions to pain and illness, suicidal thoughts and diminish the ability to adapt to life’s changes.

Personal factors

Elderly people living on a fixed income may avoid social activities because they want to minimize their living expenses. Elders who are introverted by nature may not have any interest in joining activities.

Family

Families are often separated by distance and because of that cannot always be available to visit. Adult children get busy with their day to day lives and contact decreases.

Environmental

If the elder has moved to assistive living, senior housing or residential care home, this may reduce the contact with family, friends and neighbors.

Health

Parkinson’s disease, joint disease, stroke or other illnesses that impair mobility, can result in the elder not being able to attend social events or travel to visit friends and relatives. This can result in social isolation and can lead to depression.

Solutions:

Keep in touch with relatives and families. Many people communicate via the computer. This is a great way to stay connected.

Join social activities and visit the local senior center. Some senior centers have meals and health checks. Initially, it may be uncomfortable. There is a period of adaptation when meeting new friends.

Self help groups can help the elder reduce their feeling of anxiety and loneliness. Sharing similar experiences and learning stress management techniques can help reduce the pressures that arise from changes in life.

Hire an in-home care service that can help with the following:

• Transportation to appointments, meetings, lectures, classes, bingo, worship services
• Planning for outings & visits
• Morning wake-up calls & evening bedtimes
• Assistance with walking & mobility
• Mail letters, correspondence, & bill paying
• Crafts & hobbies
• Gardening
• Grocery list preparation & shopping
• Assistance with meal choice for particular dietary needs

Is it time to give up driving?

We all remember the day when we got our license and do not look forward to when the day comes that we need to give it up. In a perfect world we would know when that time is but as human beings with flaws, we sometimes disregard the clues that creep in and give us a heads up that it is that time.

If you are the caregiver or family member of an elderly person, then it is up to you to take notice, not only for the safety of the person but the safety of others on the road. Aging does not always mean that driving skills will diminish. There are many reasons that driving may become a challenge. There may be a change of vision or motor skills.

If the driver has been getting tickets and/or warnings, having trouble parking, is driving erratically, misjudges distances or show a lack of concentration,  has trouble seeing traffic lights (can’t distinguish between the colors) or has recently drove out of the garage without opening the door first then it may be time to being a conversation about reducing the time of day or giving up driving all together.

Ride with the elderly driver and see if their skills are okay. Maybe driving at night is difficult for them but daytime still seems to be okay.  It may be they have a harder time at rush hour so not driving during that period may be one solution.

If they get confused or have a hard time finding their way home you may want to have them checked out by their health provider. If it only happens occasionally then taking only familiar routes or limiting trips may be the answer.

AARP has classes that elderly drivers can take to hone their skills. This course is targeted to older drivers and can be taken in a classroom and sometime online.

Don’t come in with a plan. It is often easier if you have the conversation and see how they feel about it.  It will go smoother if you allow them to make the decision to give up driving. Their loss of independence makes them fearful and may feel like the first step to losing all control over their lives.

Suggest that they try a week or a month without a car. This will be easier in some places because there is public transportation. Some areas have transportation services that are either run by a non-profit or by the state. These are fixed route services that travel at scheduled times or curb-to-curb services that means they come and pick you up and take you where you need to go.

Unless it is an emergency, take it slow and be respectful of the elders feelings. And most importantly always include them in the conversation.

The physical symptoms of depression

Depression can be a normal reaction to a loss or change in lifestyle and may hang around for a few weeks. Everyone feels “Blue” from time to time. Songwriters write about it but if it becomes more than that and there is a feeling of hopelessness, helplessness and feeling worthless then you may be clinically depressed. People living alone, living in rural areas or suffering from a debilitating disease can often become depressed.

Depression is caused by chemicals in your brain that are out of balance. When we think about depression we often think about the emotional aspects that come with this disease. What are often left out are the physical symptoms of depression. Chronic pain and other physical symptoms often come along with depression. Sometimes the symptoms are not recognized as being related to depression and are said to be “all in your head.”

Physical Symptoms that may accompany depression:

Headaches

• Headaches can worsen with depression

Back pain

• Back pain may worsen with depression

Digestive problems

• Chronic constipation, diarrhea and nausea may occur

Muscle aches and joint pain

• Chronic pain can become more accentuated

Exhaustion and fatigue

• Getting out of bed in the morning may seem to be an impossible task. It seems no matter how much sleep you get, you still feel tired

Dizziness and lightheadedness

Sleep problems

• Can’t fall asleep or stay asleep

Chest pain

Change in appetite or weight

• Weight loss or weight gain

It is important to find the right doctor. Find one who understand depression and can help with therapy. There are different therapies that may work differently for each individual. Exercise, drug therapy, acupuncture, herbs or talk therapy or a combination of therapies can used.

Questions you or your family can ask health care provider:

• Does acupuncture help depression?
• What are the side effects of antidepressants?
• Is it okay to take sleeping pills and pain pills along with an antidepressant?
• What is the best treatment?

Family members should be aware of changes in the mood of their loved ones. If the person is living alone and feels isolated, then it would be important to have someone check in daily to see how they are. A phone call or short visit will help in keeping a handle on the mental health of elder that is living alone.